This week has been challenging to say the least. My mood has mostly been crapy. My emotions are all over the place. And I am still hurting. I guess I think I am superwoman and these things should not get to me and all that jazz. Well not true. I have gained 3 pounds this week, gained on my measurements, and do not have my 4 pack showing anymore. Yes, I am still working out and as I explained to someone yesterday, the loss of one hand makes a world of difference in my workouts. Forget being able to work any upper body, I have accepted that. Just think about what you use your hands for in lower body exercises or in cardio. Examples: leg extensions, when I go heavy I have to grip, well that is out, leg press, I like to place my hands in fists between my legs on heavy sets and push, well that is out, running on the tread, when I come out of a run I grab the handles to steady myself as the tread slows down, that is out- plus I am so scared I might really hurt myself if I stumble, no db for lunges, no box jumps because again I am scared I will lose balance or miss the box, no ab work with my 12 lb med ball, just can not hold it with one hand, guys this list could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. So this is what I have to accept for at least another 2 weeks, I realize that, but tell my heart, which was 100% into this, to not hurt over my loss. It is not possible. Even though I have decided to do another show in July, it is hard for me to get into the same frame of mind. The only thing I can compare what I am feeling to is a mourning period. Yes, I realize I have to move on and I thought I had somewhat, but I guess I have not. Today makes one week since my accident and I pray all these feelings will leave me over the weekend and I can get down to business next week because I hate feeling this way.
Because I want to end this on a happy note I wanted to share some things this week which have made me happy:
Hannah bringing the computer in the kitchen this morning playing Black Eye Peas "Dirty Bit" -she and I jam out to that one, so I danced a little and it made me feel better.
Finding out my cousin dead lifted 135 for 8 reps yesterday, I am so proud.
Realizing I could have broke two hands, but didn't.
My cat and dog, TK and Rambo, loving on eachother in the hallway the other morning.
My ex fellow competitor getting a decent night's sleep with some help from me.
Harley snuggling with me on the couch Wednesday before he had to go to work. (I felt like the picture of the kitties below, so warm and relaxed- I love you Harley)
And that I got a got sweat on the stepmill last night.
It will get better and it could be much worse. I am thankful it is only temporary.
I just came across your blog recently. Wishing you a speedy recovery!
ReplyDeleteThings will get better, hang in there! My friend and I were prepping for our show together, her first figure show. 5 weeks prior to show date, she was told she needed to have hernia surgery. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to do the show. Well, she rested for about 5 days and then was right back in the gym. She obviously took it easy and didn't engage her abs or core muscles and it was tough but she did it! There's hope, lots =)
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! hang in there. As for the hunger, try to find some shiratake noodles, good for belly fill. Also try protein fluff, take 150g of frozen raspberrys, 15g of whey protein (vanilla is best). Smash the frozen berries and mix in with a tiny bit of water and the protein powder. Dont let it get soggy, only about 1/2 a deciliter of water or some sugarfree cordial. then use your handmixer, power driven or even better if you have a standing one. whip the mix for about 10 minutes and you have a bowl full off fluffy yumminess and only about 100 kcal. it will "fluff" in stages and if you keep at it for to long it will be very airy (hard to believe when you start)
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon and have a speedy recovery. Your gains is probably water retention and will go away, your probably stressed and that makes it worse.
Give your body time to heal! It's hard to take things slow where you have goals and things you want to get done...but you have to do it!
ReplyDeleteI'm sending positive thoughts & hugs your way!!!
T.