10 weeks out!

Today I wanted to walk you through my train of thoughts.  Since this blog was designed to give anyone reading it true insight to what I am going through on my journey to the stage, I think it is important you know what all went through my mind this morning.

3:30AM Got up, took Rambo out, got dressed, drove to gym.

4:00AM Got to gym, got my little room set up and did a 300 routine which was a mixture of the 1st and 2nd ones.  (Was struggling to get through it, felt weak and tired) Finished off with some Ab work.

5:40AM Got home, was getting ready to get in the shower, thought I want to "just see" what my measurements are.  (The only mover was my thighs.)  Turned around so I could see my "ass" in the mirror, got majorly disappointed.  "It" is still not stage ready.  What else can I possibly do to improve my weakest link?  I do one day of leg weight training (heavy), a PLYO day, a 300 workout, a "booty" workout, and 6 days a week of 45 minute cardio sessions, with PLENTY of those involving the step mill.  WTH!!!! 
As you can imagine, I was just about defeated at that point.  So, I stepped in the shower and got to thinking about how my sister brought me the "Pumping Iron" video with Arnold and how I would be all alone on Saturday and maybe it would do me a ton of good to watch the KING OF CONFIDENCE.  Maybe it would pick me up somewhat.  Still not feeling any better and beating myself up in a major way, even thinking I should not do the show because there is no way I will be ready.  I got out of the shower and for some reason it hit me.....I am 10 weeks out, not only am I 10 weeks out, I have been doing this for 10 weeks, so I am exactly half way this Saturday.  All of a sudden my whole line of thinking changed!!   I have come a LONG way in 10 weeks and I still have another 10 weeks to go.  Plus, Harley has agreed to train me in person on Sundays for legs, and I know with him over me there will be crazy improvements there.  Then, to top off my little pity/recovery session, I found a pair of size 6 skinny jeans in my closet the night before and had pulled them out intending to try to wear them to work this morning.  (In the back of my mind I was thinking they would probably fit, but be snug)  When they just slid on and were baggy on me that was the icing on the cake.  I have been happy since.  (Ended up seeing spots and had to take Excedrin migraine med, but all is well) 

All of that to say, even when people in the gym are saying things to me like, "are you afraid you are going to peak too soon" or "you are so far along right now, you can probably just cruise on in from here" etc... I see something completely different when I look in the mirror, I am definitely my own worse and harshest critic, and it is sooo hard for me to give myself any praise, much less to consider turning the volume down any at this point.  Maybe you have made changes and are not happy with what you have done or have forgotten where you once were.  I am here to tell you, you've got this!  You can do it, and will!  Just hang in there, maybe it is another 10 weeks like me or whatever timeline you have set for yourself, just know you will get there.  Don't give up and for sure do not throw in the towel. 

Summer is almost here baby!  And it is almost Saturday Arnold time!