"The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails." ~John Maxwell

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

What has been hiding in my heart....

Last night while saying my goodnights to Harley, some words tumbled out about why I do not want to or rather can not compete.  It is simply because I can not seem to afford it at this point in my life.  I am a single mom of two teenage daughters who are both active in sports and such.  While most of their expenses are split with their dads, I still have a hard time making it all fit in.  Class ring, Letterman jacket, spending money, gas money, club fees, field trip money, money for special clothes or gear for sports, etc...  In no way do I not want to help pay for these things as a mother, in fact I feel truly bad when I can not.  It makes me feel like the worst parent ever to not have the money.  I have on several occasions give my last $20 to my oldest for gas then wondered where I was going to get money for gas in my own car.  It is not just my girls, but life in general that seems so expensive.  We eat "clean" at our house and yes that means my grocery bill blows a lot of people's minds.  I do live in a nice house that I pay dearly for because I believe in my daughters living in a nice area where I can trust to leave them home alone.  My car is a 1997 model long paid off.  I do not ever "shop" for myself or go get my nails done or have spa days with friends.  And through it all I feel like I make good money for the area I live in and work a job that offers me flexibility as needed, so why do I say all of this?

It is money that keeps me from competing.  The plain truth.  It costs money to stay in a hotel 2 nights, buy a suit, get your tan sprayed, nails done, hair done, make up done, association fee, competition fee, etc...  Money I just do not have.

Sooooo, Harley said "Why don't you just train like you are going to compete?"  Well, why not?  I actually like the regiment, the science, the discipline.  I feel better about myself.  If I can't have the competition why can't I have all the other that goes along with it like the beautiful body!  (Just saying)  Why can't I have this one thing for me?  And who knows, if I keep my body ready then maybe I will fall into some money and be able to compete at moments notice if need be.  :)   A girl can dream. 

Thanks for letting me getting this long overdue talk out!

8 comments:

  1. I absolutely understand where you are coming from. I don't have children, but I am still paying off expenses from my first two competitions back in July. It's to the point where I have three jobs to make ends meet because like yourself I too believe that its important to live in a good area and I want to be able to support myself without having to do into even more debt than I already am in.

    You know what? I have an idea....what if we were to potentially do something together? chronicle our "getting ready" for competition...if it so happens we get on stage great! if not so what? our bodies will look fab and at least we will have each other for support!

    Thoughts? I think it could be great too! to have you do a guest post!

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  2. Competing is SO expensive! I hear you there lady. :|

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  3. Oh gosh, having gone through two competitions, both out of the area so I needed a hotel, food, etc. Yea, it's so expensive and adds up really quickly. I feel your pain for sure. But I DO think that's a great idea!! go for it!

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  4. Keep up the good work! You will be able to afford to compete some day! Getting second Hand suits, shoes etc, splitting the hotel bill, small things like that. You can compete no matter age. Training like it will add quality to your body and when you can it will be great.

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  5. i think its a great idea you are still planning to train like you are going to compete,even though you dont have a set date for a competition!
    and yes,this can be a very expensive sport-when you do get ready to do a show there are several ways to save a lot of money-doing a local show so no hotel cost,fake nails from walmart so no pedicure costs-dream tan in a bottle-$20,not $150 if you apply it yourself,second hand suits or buying a plain suit and then stoning it yourself....lots of small things can add up to save big!
    but anyways,conti8nue nto train,treat your body well and even if you never do get around to competeing,you know yo have a killer body that could do it at any given moment!
    :D

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  6. I love the idea of you training for a show even if you're not going to do it! It could be a practice run & when the stars align and you can afford to compete, you'll be a pro at the whole prepping process!

    T.

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  7. DO NOT GIVE UP Crystal because you never know what lies ahead it can still happen for you.

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  8. THANKS YOU GUYS FOR ALL OF YOUR KIND WORDS. IT MEANS ALOT! TAKE CARE.

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