What has been hiding in my heart....

Last night while saying my goodnights to Harley, some words tumbled out about why I do not want to or rather can not compete.  It is simply because I can not seem to afford it at this point in my life.  I am a single mom of two teenage daughters who are both active in sports and such.  While most of their expenses are split with their dads, I still have a hard time making it all fit in.  Class ring, Letterman jacket, spending money, gas money, club fees, field trip money, money for special clothes or gear for sports, etc...  In no way do I not want to help pay for these things as a mother, in fact I feel truly bad when I can not.  It makes me feel like the worst parent ever to not have the money.  I have on several occasions give my last $20 to my oldest for gas then wondered where I was going to get money for gas in my own car.  It is not just my girls, but life in general that seems so expensive.  We eat "clean" at our house and yes that means my grocery bill blows a lot of people's minds.  I do live in a nice house that I pay dearly for because I believe in my daughters living in a nice area where I can trust to leave them home alone.  My car is a 1997 model long paid off.  I do not ever "shop" for myself or go get my nails done or have spa days with friends.  And through it all I feel like I make good money for the area I live in and work a job that offers me flexibility as needed, so why do I say all of this?

It is money that keeps me from competing.  The plain truth.  It costs money to stay in a hotel 2 nights, buy a suit, get your tan sprayed, nails done, hair done, make up done, association fee, competition fee, etc...  Money I just do not have.

Sooooo, Harley said "Why don't you just train like you are going to compete?"  Well, why not?  I actually like the regiment, the science, the discipline.  I feel better about myself.  If I can't have the competition why can't I have all the other that goes along with it like the beautiful body!  (Just saying)  Why can't I have this one thing for me?  And who knows, if I keep my body ready then maybe I will fall into some money and be able to compete at moments notice if need be.  :)   A girl can dream. 

Thanks for letting me getting this long overdue talk out!

Chest and Tri's

Yesterday's workout was chest and tri's.  Chest has never been a favorite of mine.  Tri's though I love.  So it is kind of a love hate relationship and why I continue to stack them together. 
It went a little something like this:
Giant set of:
Inc db press
flat db press
2 hand db overhead ext
Bench dips (feet up of course)  3 rounds
then....
Peck deck ss w/
Tricep pushups (have not done these in a while, they felt good) 3 rounds
followed by a
1 mile run &
10 minutes on the step mill

Not a big day or anything way impressive, but a nice get back in the gym after too much turkey day. 

Something that has been bothering me lately is my lack of noteworthiness.  It seems like I am just floating along.  I go through the moves, but I am not impressing myself anymore.  Of course it is not rocket science, I know what is going on, but I fight getting out of the bed at 5:00 am to go for that 32 degree run.  This is something me, myself, and I are going to have to come to grips with real soon.  I realize for the fat girl in me that my bed is toasty warm with the perfect hint of snuggles, but the fit girl in me needs to have her aspirin running up and down the street, so she won't hate herself in the morning.  Weights and a somewhat decent diet is not cutting it.  I need a tougher diet and mo' cardio! 

I need to print this and frame it beside my alarm clock:

Nov 17th goal and more

Ok truth time!  I do not think I made my goal to drop 5 lbs by the 17th.  I am just going to go with I didn't to make it easy.  I do not own a scale, so I do not know, nor was I any where near an accurate one.  UGH!!  Honestly, no worries, nor am I too upset.  It would have been nice, but I know I was not putting in half the cardio I needed to make the goal, so I live with the results. 
Now to catch you guys up........last week my body was fatiguing way too early in my weight lifting sessions.  It was to the point that on my leg day I did 5 sets and walked out of the gym.  I was soo disgusted.  My muscles were so weak and tired, I thought WTH this is crazy to keep trying to push through this just to have a half A$$ workout.  (Can't stand that)  That was on Thursday.  On Friday some how I decided to let Harley train me for shoulders.  Harley delivered as usual, I just don't think I did.  Again, I was so weak and my muscles were just not responding well at all.  We did complete the workout, but that's about all I can say about it.
So what to do?  My body apparently needs a break.  I do not want to take a full week off from exercising, sooooo I guess it is time to move onto my 2012 bucket list.

I prepped this to be its own post, but I think it works well right here:

I have been cruising on for some time now with no clear goals or direction as to what I want to accomplish.  So many times I have said I want to do that or try that.  Only to get caught up in my usual routine and not get them done or even tried.  I don't want to be that person.  So, I have come up with a bucket list of sorts for me to reach in 2012. 

• Drop and keep weight at or below 145lbs  
• Pullups unassisted for 8
• Bench press 100lbs for 5
• Consistent diet, allowing cheats that are either planned or holidays
• Increase cardio
• Yoga at least 1 day a week
• Spin at least 1 day a week
• Crossfit at least 1 day a week
• Olympic style lifts (incorporate at least one in every weight training workout)
• Run a 5K and a 10K

I want to be able to show you this list again at the end of 2012 with all the items checked off.  Some I may already do and some I may can do and don't know it.  My goal is to find out how hard and how far I can push this.  

With that said, I started outdoor running last Saturday and have not missed a day yet.  I have decided a week out of the gym may do my body some good and give me a chance to get started on my running.

Let me clarify here a few minor details:
I have NEVER been an outdoor runner, I only recently discovered I could run on the treadmill, but have never been able to do any distance outside.
I have mitral valve prolapse, which I have never let hold me back, but in running it just means I am not capable of taking off running, I have to build up to a run.  Once I catch my wind, I can go.

I am learning new stuff every day I run.  It is really quite fascinating how quickly my body has responded.  So far the most I have run in a straight stretch is 2 miles.  And when I remembered to time my 2nd mile the other day I was at 11 minutes, which I know is sooooo slow, but it is a starting point.

I have to go now, to get some other things done, but I will keep you posted. 

If you haven't been out for a run in a while or ever, give it a try.  It has been a nice change up for me.

Crystal

Happy 1 Year Blogger Birthday....A look back

Here is a look back through the year.....these are direct quotes and pictures from my blog......It has been quite a year, Enjoy!



"I am starting this site for those who are interested in watching my journey in Figure competition."

"I HAVE TWO FOLLOWERS!!!  I am soooo excited!" 


Hopefully, you did not fall off the wagon during Thanksgiving.  It was tough for me and I did not do as well with my diet as I had thought, but today is a new day and it is time to move on.  So, if you slipped a little or alot during the holiday, jump back on and let's do this thing.  :)



"Harley you are hands down the best trainer EVER!! "

(The shortest I have ever cut my hair)

Slow and steady....I have lost 14 lbs since starting this.  Harley said he thinks I can go another 10 to 15 before my show.   That would put me at 123 to 128, on my 5' 8 1/2" frame.  We will see, but the main thing is now I can see that I am holding onto my muscle, in fact still gaining, and losing the fat layer on top of the muscle.  Quite happy right now because this gives me a goal to work towards.  :)

(Right before I broke my hand)

Then....

" At the ER I tried to keep it together and kept telling myself it wasn't broke even though I knew in my heart it was without a doubt.  After several hours, the FNP came in my room and confirmed my biggest fear.  It is broke and she thinks recovery time will be 6-8 weeks.  Guys, I lost it.  Cried hard."



Integrated Conditioning

(See video)

"IF IT IS A PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE YOU WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN."

Nicole Wilkins Lee workout of the week

Are you drinking the amount of water
you should drink every day? 

"5.25 pounds!!  I made my goal!  It took a double round of cardio yesterday and a tight diet, but it paid off.  :)"

(Florida for vacation this past summer)

"The only thing I can compare it to is like giving birth.  It was so painful and trying during, but the pain and agony was quickly forgotten once my belly was full and I was in the comfort of my home."

(The hike from Hell as they all call it)



Here is the site for the diet I have been reading Eat Right For Your Type.  Try to find time to check it out especially if you already know your blood type.

"Never does one feel oneself so utterly helpless
as in trying to speak comfort for great bereavement.
I will not try it.
Time is the only comforter for the loss of a mother.
- Jules Renard"

"You didn't get out of shape and unhealthy overnight, and you won't get fit and healthy overnight - despite what the infomercials tell you"



Diet and Physical Activity: What’s the Cancer Connection?

Guys, this 1st year of blogging has taught me so much.  I can not thank the lovely ladies who blog with me enough for sharing all of their knowledge, experiences, lessons, and motivation.  You guys have really made this something I look forward to every day.  For those that follow along with my blog, thank you!  Many times you have been my drive to do what I do, my accountability.  I am looking forward to another great year of posts with several ideas already in store.

I will leave you with my office computer desktop pic...I think it says it all.
 



Cellulite

OK so I didn't make it yesterday for my planned cardio session.  I will not go into excuses......just didn't do it.  So, I got my butt up at 4:30 this morning and went.  Did 25 min of incline tread followed by 3 butt and hip machine circuit.  Figure the cottage cheese is not going to go anywhere by itself.  Seriously, how much more do I have to do to get rid of it?  Granted, it has improved.  My skin does look better, but still not completely smooth as I would like.  (Talking about the cellulite on the back of my thighs)  Gross I know, but it is a real concern for all women.  Not just obese women have this problem. 

Soo, let's take a look:

Accordiong to the Mayo Clinic.....
Cellulite looks like dimpled or bumpy skin. It's sometimes described as skin with a cottage cheese texture. Cellulite ranges in severity.

Weight gain can make cellulite more noticeable, but cellulite may still be present in lean individuals. It tends to run in families, so genetics may play the biggest role in whether you develop cellulite.
Other factors that may increase your chances of having cellulite include:

• Stress
• An inactive lifestyle
• Using hormonal contraceptives

(Ok I have to stop right there and point out a few things I have learned so far.....my problem probably is hereditary and possible stress related)  So.....

Treatments and drugs

Weight lossWeight loss — through healthy diet and regular exercise — is probably the most beneficial cellulite treatment. Losing pounds and strengthening muscles in your legs, thighs, buttocks and abdomen can improve the appearance of the dimpled skin.

This is what I am banking on.  My problem area has gotten better as I have cleaned up my diet and exercised more.  My goal of course is to eliminate it completely.  Maybe by bikini season next year I will be there.  (I may have discovered my new goal)

Lasers and radiofrequency systems
Perhaps the most promising medical therapy is lasers and radiofrequency systems. One system uses combined negative tissue massage, radiofrequency and infrared light to treat cellulite. Another system delivers combined tissue massage with diode laser energy. A third system uses radiofrequency at deep and superficial levels simultaneously to treat cellulite. All three systems offer improvements to cellulite after a series of treatments. Results may last up to six months. \

Really who has the money for something like this knowing it is a temporary fix with no guarentees???

Liposuction
Some people may turn to liposuction as a treatment for cellulite. During liposuction, a surgeon inserts a narrow tube under your skin through tiny incisions and then suctions out fat cells. Though liposuction can shape the body, it won't remove cellulite, and it may make the cellulite appear worse. Laser-assisted liposuction is a newer, less invasive form of this treatment that destroys fat cells while tightening the skin, and may be a more effective treatment for cellulite.

No Thank You!  I have watched the Med channel and I get sick just watching the procedure.  I could not handle having it done to me.  Plus, without diet and exercise again, it will come back.  Again, who has that kind of money??

Topical treatment
A twice daily application of 0.3 percent retinol cream has been shown to improve the appearance of cellulite after six months.

Surely, the cream is not cheap.  And I have a hard time believing the cream is what is doing the work.  Probably more so is the massaging you are doing to that area putting on the cream.  Cheaper to just massage and get the same results.  Might actually give this one a try.  ;)

Prevention

There is no way to prevent getting cellulite. Keeping off excess pounds and strengthening your muscles through regular exercise, however, can go a long way toward maintaining your skin tone and texture.

 Maybe if I do everything I know to do I might have a rear view like this for next summer...

Nicole Nagrani Ms. Bikini Olympia 2011

Let's get it started

It's time to gear up for the week.  Have you made your plans for the week yet?  No, I don't mean your social calendar, I mean what are you doing this week to make you the healthiest you can be. 

Here is my plan:
Mon:  Cardio
Tues:  Back/ Bis
Wed:  Heavy Legs
Thur:  Chest/Tris
Fri:  Shoulders/Cardio
Sat:  Light legs & spin
Sun:  Cardio

Yes, Thanksgiving is getting close.  For me I will be having my 2nd Thanksgiving this Sunday with a 3rd planned for the actual day.  Three Thanksgivings!!!!  No big, I've got this.  And no I do not even plan to cook healthy for it.  I plan to enjoy those meals knowing everything leading up to and after will be the healthiest I can possible make them.  Hope you have your Thanksgiving plans in place too. 

A couple of things on my mind today:

 

For my Hannah

These are things that make me think of my youngest daughter, Hannah.  She is a very lively soul who lives life out loud.  I love you baby!

She loves basketball.

She is going 100 mph all the time.  Growing up way too fast.

A beautiful soul, who will go far in life with very little effort.